chinney
11-08-2006, 11:28 AM
Just need to share a few pains with you all.
Just broke up with a guy who really loved the Lord and looked like he loved me, but we did not seem to agree on a lot of issues, He is about 32 and am also 32 but our value systems are just not similar. We were classmate in collage while i graduated with a 2nd class upper he graduated with a 3rd class. We later met after 5yrs of leaving school and started dating. He is a very nice person with good christian values but still is somewhat childish. I say this because when ever he got broke he'd call his mum or dad or big sis to send him some money. to me he is a spoilt brat that refused to grow up. I told him several times that this was wrong but he felt i did not understand him. Secondly, i was finding it difficult to fall in love with him since there was really no harmony and i felt choked, because he was always around me and made me feel like i did not have any other choice, so i broke the relationship up. off course i felt bad about the break up but i felt we needed some time out. I felt pressured in the relationship and tot it wiser to breath. Thirdly, I felt unloved as he was always comparing me to his ex, whom jiltted him a few months b4 I met him. Well in the relationship i felt he was using me to mop up pains from his past relationship and asked him to take some time off and sort his feelings out. Some how we went on like that until i got tired and did not want to continue the endless circle. Well, over time, i discovered my feelings for him had grown and i felt i could better handle the challenges, so i called him up after about a month but he said that he had started seeing someone else about a week after we broke up and they were settling in well, i blamed myself for all sorts and i wanted to make it right. i decided that talking about it on a one on one basis would help both of us reduce the level of bitterness we were experiencing. well i called him up again about 4 months later so we could talk. He agreed to come talk, but to my amazement he showed up with his new g/friend. i took the humiliation well, as in spite of her presence i still tendered my appologies and how i came to unburden. I tot for it to end well at least to reduce the bitterness even though the pain might not reduce now. Did i do wrong by wanting him back? by wanting peace? He says i am very selfish because i did not want his new relationship to thrive....this hurt me! All i truely wanted was to make him see that i did not mean to hurt him the way he thinks i did, and i felt bad cos he never bothered to ask why i broke up with him, i truely felt he did not really love me, at least if he did, he would have sought out ways for reconcialiation, or what do u think?
Just broke up with a guy who really loved the Lord and looked like he loved me, but we did not seem to agree on a lot of issues, He is about 32 and am also 32 but our value systems are just not similar. We were classmate in collage while i graduated with a 2nd class upper he graduated with a 3rd class. We later met after 5yrs of leaving school and started dating. He is a very nice person with good christian values but still is somewhat childish. I say this because when ever he got broke he'd call his mum or dad or big sis to send him some money. to me he is a spoilt brat that refused to grow up. I told him several times that this was wrong but he felt i did not understand him. Secondly, i was finding it difficult to fall in love with him since there was really no harmony and i felt choked, because he was always around me and made me feel like i did not have any other choice, so i broke the relationship up. off course i felt bad about the break up but i felt we needed some time out. I felt pressured in the relationship and tot it wiser to breath. Thirdly, I felt unloved as he was always comparing me to his ex, whom jiltted him a few months b4 I met him. Well in the relationship i felt he was using me to mop up pains from his past relationship and asked him to take some time off and sort his feelings out. Some how we went on like that until i got tired and did not want to continue the endless circle. Well, over time, i discovered my feelings for him had grown and i felt i could better handle the challenges, so i called him up after about a month but he said that he had started seeing someone else about a week after we broke up and they were settling in well, i blamed myself for all sorts and i wanted to make it right. i decided that talking about it on a one on one basis would help both of us reduce the level of bitterness we were experiencing. well i called him up again about 4 months later so we could talk. He agreed to come talk, but to my amazement he showed up with his new g/friend. i took the humiliation well, as in spite of her presence i still tendered my appologies and how i came to unburden. I tot for it to end well at least to reduce the bitterness even though the pain might not reduce now. Did i do wrong by wanting him back? by wanting peace? He says i am very selfish because i did not want his new relationship to thrive....this hurt me! All i truely wanted was to make him see that i did not mean to hurt him the way he thinks i did, and i felt bad cos he never bothered to ask why i broke up with him, i truely felt he did not really love me, at least if he did, he would have sought out ways for reconcialiation, or what do u think?