marriage trouble

[marcia]

in need of prayers and good godly advice. my husband of 9 years was not who he lead me to believe when we first married. after finding more and more about him not sure what to do now. he now claims to be a christian and really wants to turn his life around, but has said this before and alot of emotional pain and verbal abuse are still fresh in the minds and hearts of the kids and i. my children are very upset that i wont divorce him and stay away, but the youngest child is his. he has never supported us and relies on me to help when he gets in trouble.i know i love him and have enabled him in our past, but for the last 3 years i have refused to move back with him, 1 because he has no stable address,2 because he never keeps his promises. at this time he is finishing his jail sentence and is due to be released in jan. he writes like he's sorry for what he has put us through and says he can't change the past. how do i deal with this? I should not be the one to make things right between him and the kids and i can only pray for gods guidenceand the streght to do my best.

[Viv]

The evidence of the spirit, is the fruit. Likewise your husband will show the truth of his belief in his fruit. Don't be too hasty to judge relying on past history (but don't ignore it either). Let the actions, not words, of your husband show you which way his heart is going, for truly if he has invited Christ into his life then he will have changed his path, :-) be open to this possibility, there is truth in what he says about not being able to change the past, but he can change the future, especially if that change has been led by God. If there is no evidence of change then you may have to remain estranged. :(
Lord I ask that You be with Marcia now as she makes these decisions. Grant to her Lord, wisdom. Let her make these choices with a calm mind filled with Your councel. May Your peace rest on her Lord, that her spirit be in unity with You. Amen.
Let the peace of God be in you, that you can make your decisions with the confidence that they are the right ones. God bless you Marcia. :bible :fish :c

[marcia]

thank you for your words of encouragement.

[asaltsman]

It is our duty to forgive, but not to be walked on. Deception and miss trust must be dealt with, then see if there love (agape Love) in your heart for you astranged husband. If not ask the Lord in heaven to give you love for the man that you once stay upnight just hoping he would call and let Jesus work a miracle in you and choose grace to deal with this situation. Phil 4 13 We can do all things through Christ who strenthens us.

[crossway7]

I am responding from a male perspective. I too was responsible for mental abuse with my wife and kids. God did expose this darkness and it was painful and very shamful to experience this. Pray for your husbands weakness and ask for Godly sorrow. For him to experience Godly sorrow that leads to repentance is your only hope. If he only has wordly sorrow your being fooled. There is nothing wrong with praying for his weakness that God would be his source. I learned through experience. I am to lead in weakness. That's what a husband is to do. A husband and wife are to come together in weakness that God would be your strength. Your husband must experience what it means to carry his own cross. Weakness, humility, godly sorrow, brokeness,pain, remorse are all necessary. You have not because you just have not asked...