Does the Bible say any thing bout age difference

[daddypaw]

I am a 51 year old man. I am in love wiht a young lady in the church I attend , she tells me she is in love with me also. My marriage has been over for years, but I never filed for divorce, but after my youngest son turns 18 I am filing for a divorce. Well the young lady relization this and it will be in three years and she is willing to wait and of course I am. I mena wait in every way. She is 20 . My guestion is there bible forbidding this and I understand as long as we dont commit adultery. The reason for waiting till he turns 18 is cause of the check he gets cause I am disabiled. To help clear any guestions my wife already tells people I am her ex or she has introduced me as her brother. So this ought to tell you that even in her mind the marriage is over.

Thanks \
Daddypaw

[StevenPriscilla]

Daddypaw, Love is of the lord. I beleive that as long as you are following the law of the land as well as Gods law for marriage, it is to you who you marry. But my advice is to pray and ask God to show you his will in the situation. You must be divorced completely from you former wife i beleive before you should even consider anything with this young girl. Remember it is possible to committ adultery in you mind. Hope that helps a little. God Bless You!!!!:)

[hisredeemed]

Yes, I agree adultery starts in the heart. The fact that you are still legally married means something to the Lord. He says to obey the laws of the land.

The fact that your wife is lying to people does not make the situation any better. You're not her ex and you're not her brother. This is all compromise.

Mat 5:32

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever, shall marry her that is divorced committs adultery.

And what does all this behavior teach your son? Your wife is lying to people and you're dating while still married. Are you both Christians behaving like this?? You are both making a mockery of what God calls holy.

[Michael08]

What reason are you filing for the divorce, if it is not death or adultery then it is a sin against God........ As for you thinking you are in love with a 20 year old girl, I think it is inappropriate for a man your age to be interested in someone who is a daughters age, but you also sin because you are going along with your wifes sin of telling people that you are already her ex husband, also seeing how you are still married and lusting after another women you have comitted adultery against God. Your wife is sinning in telling people you are a brother and you both are guilty of sin. May God deal with your hearts with the sins you have comitted. You seem to have not care and take enjoyment in this soap opera taking place. You can not be blessed in the church you are part of and the sins in which you seem to take great pleasure in comitting with the thoughts you have for this 20 year old girl... and I state girl..just barely out of her teen years and being transformed by your sinful thoughts for her.... may God show her the mistake she is making and deal with your heart....

[blueheron32]

daddypaw..

I find it hard to believe you can ask this question pretending to be a christian, sincerely asking advice from other christians. It is obvious you are an adulterer at heart and therefore an adulterer in reality.. Your reasoning is a perversion of Gods will for marriage, and you therefore, sir, are a pervert at heart. If you want to really know Gods will for your abominable thoughts, then turn to the scripture and look for yourself. You should be ashamed and repent in sackcloth and ashes.

Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Mal 3:5 And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Jam 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

blue

[Lordhelpme]

daddypaw..

I find it hard to believe you can ask this question pretending to be a christian, sincerely asking advice from other christians. It is obvious you are an adulterer at heart and therefore an adulterer in reality.. Your reasoning is a perversion of Gods will for marriage, and you therefore, sir, are a pervert at heart. If you want to really know Gods will for your abominable thoughts, then turn to the scripture and look for yourself. You should be ashamed and repent in sackcloth and ashes.

Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Mal 3:5 And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.

1Co 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1Co 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Jam 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

blue



Preach Blue preach!!!!!

This man is full of sin and iniquity. Nothing in him is of Christ.

[Lordhelpme]

Psalm 1:1

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

[ConsidertheLily]

daddypaw,

you are a married man no if ands or buts about it!! that girl is 20 which her feelings fly with the wind! Wake up and smell the coffee, pray for your wife if you are a christian instead of wanting another woman woo the one you are with. Read the Song of Solomon!

[momof2]

I don't agree with what this man is doing at all and yes I see and understand that what he is doing is sin. But the way that some of you have responded to him is not the way Jesus would have responded!!! All sin is the same to God and everyone one of us sin everyday!! Instead of responding so harshly maybe you should have responded with love in giving him scriptures to read!!! Here are some verses for all of you to read....

John 8:7
Jesus said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Mark 12:31
The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

I pray for all of you that you will be able to continue to give advice to fellow brothers and sisters in such a manner that would be glorifying to God!
Blessings to all

[blueheron32]

you may be right momof2

perhaps Jesus would have answered this way.....

Mat 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?

Mat 23:13 But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

Mat 23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

blue

[momof2]

I see where you are coming from Blue but it just seams like the difference is that the verses I listed are things that Jesus is telling us to do or be like. The verses you have listed are about people that were not children of God and Jesus knew that because he knew their heart. We don't know if Daddy is truly a believer or not and we have no right to judge. So therefore we can only take his word for it and rebuke him like a believer. And please do not assume if he is a believer or not because of his sin, because we all sin.

[blueheron32]

Momof2... I have reread daddypaws opening statement here....there is nothing christian about this man. Every line he spoke reflected a perverse and rebellious heart. The gospel, is not only about grace and mercy, it is also about the law of God. The law thunders from mount sinai, with smoke and fire and wrath, bringing the condemned one to his knees in repentance, seeking mercy. It is then and only then that the gospel of the grace of Jesus Christ can be grasped. The well do not need a physician, but the sick. He who does not see his deplorable spiritual condition, cannot see his need for a saviour. I believe we should let the law of God do its work, so the grace of God can do its work as well.

Perhaps daddypaw should defend himself, instead of hiding behind the skirts of women...:-)

blue..

[Chaplain Bob]

What reason are you filing for the divorce, if it is not death or adultery then it is a sin against God........ As for you thinking you are in love with a 20 year old girl, I think it is inappropriate for a man your age to be interested in someone who is a daughters age, but you also sin because you are going along with your wifes sin of telling people that you are already her ex husband, also seeing how you are still married and lusting after another women you have comitted adultery against God. Your wife is sinning in telling people you are a brother and you both are guilty of sin. May God deal with your hearts with the sins you have comitted. You seem to have not care and take enjoyment in this soap opera taking place. You can not be blessed in the church you are part of and the sins in which you seem to take great pleasure in comitting with the thoughts you have for this 20 year old girl... and I state girl..just barely out of her teen years and being transformed by your sinful thoughts for her.... may God show her the mistake she is making and deal with your heart....

Divorce is not a sin against God. And adultry is not grounds for divorce. When the Bible says God hates divorce it is referring to God-ordained marriages. Simply because God created the institution of marriage does not mean a civil ceremony makes it God's marriage. And when Jesus was talking about giving a woman a "bill of divorcement" He was talking to those we call "engaged" today. If a man learned his fiancee' had sex with another man he could divorce her (call off the marriage).

[dshavoc]

I totally agree with momof2.

blueheron32, there was truth in what you said. But we are to tell the truth in love. Truth without love is brutality. I will grant that it is often necessary to be rough, and that it can be a useful to convict people so that they are motivated to affect change, but calling the man a pervert is, in my opinion, a bit over the edge. But I won't presume too much, because maybe what you said in your first response was exactly what he needed to hear. However, momof2 raised a humble, honest objection:
But the way that some of you have responded to him is not the way Jesus would have responded!!!
And what do you have to say?
You may be right, momof2. Perhaps Jesus would have answered this way...
Ye serpent, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
This was Jesus' speaking to the Pharisees who contorted God's holy law into a political/religious tool to control other people. Theirs was a sin from a position of authority and influence, which made it all the more potent and blasphemous. Their lifestyles were such that they claimed to be white seplechurs, but inwardly were filled with dead man's bones. God says that the one sin that is unforgivable is blasphemy. Not adultery. So how can you equate the two? I do not understand this.

Those verses were not only out of context (which I can't believe you were unaware of, after the righteous enlightenment that you've claimed for yourself), they were blatantly disrespectful to momof2. I perceive that you have publicly shunned her advice and have scoffed her gentle admonition. Where is your respect and common decency? I am deeply offended on her behalf. I hope you feel shame for what you've done. You've got a bit of doing ahead of you to regain neutral respect from me.

You could have said any number of things to the man that would have been more useful. PRACTICAL advice, like that surrounding momof2's statement that a 20-yr-old girl's emotions change with the wind.

I've called it as I see it. I do not claim to know the whole truth of this matter, or to be without error, and if I've shown you undue disrespect, I apologize. I endeavor always to tell the truth in love. I hope that what I've said is constructive feedback and serves to help you to align your words with what Christ would truly want.

daddypaw came seeking advice. He could either be testing the waters of christian reaction to his plans in a way that is safe to him -- on an internet forum -- or he could be sincerely asking advice and scriptural references.

I think enough scripture has been referenced, but here's my little bit of wisdom, such as it is: life is like a short stretch of sidewalk, consisting of a dozen or so squares. Some sidewalks are longer than others, some with more cracks. Marriage is when two people place their sidewalks side by side. So it is important that they are walking on the same square. i.e. can share their life experiences from a peer relationship. As such, I feel that 30 years is a bit wide of a difference. And if they can make a relationship work (adultery aside), he's already broken a life-long vow, which makes it an unwise decision on the girl's part. Also, he'll die far younger than she will, and assuming that they stay together, she'll end up with half her life left without a husband. Better for her to find a man that she can share her whole life with. It would be cheating her out of a natural life to marry her. He just has too much over her. If he really loved her, I believe he'd do the best thing for her, rather than follow the thrill of having a young woman find him attractive. And I just have to wonder... do her parents know anything of this?? If this is going to rend her relationship with her family, it's definitely not a loving choice. Think about that, daddypaw.

I just have one more thing to say.
This man is full of sin and iniquity. Nothing in him is of Christ.
Lordhelpme, that was just vile. I don't know daddypaw, nor do you. You really jumped the gun there and shot your mouth off to no good. You don't deserve any soft words from me. Checked the mirror recently for any abnormal, fibrous growths on your pupils? Meditate on this (I'm dead serious): it is garbage exactly like that that makes me embarassed to affiliate myself with "Christianity".

May we all continuously grow in spirit and in truth in service of Christ. Peace.

[pure_white_graceful_rose]

I agree with momof2 on the whole 'what would Jesus have said' part.
Really, though, I'm here to find the answer - is it alright for there to be an age difference and does the Bible say anything against it. You see, I'm sixteen years old, I'm a Christian, I want to get married to someone whom I love and whom loves me...but I find myself being attracted to men older than myself and wanting to marry someone older than myself for he would be wiser, more mature etc. To marry a man I knew in Church rather than a boy would seem a lot more suitable for me. So, I'm just wondering what people's actual opinions on age for marriage are, rather than people's opinions on DaddyPaw's life choices. As a fellow sister in Christ to all of you, your opinions and advice matter to me a lot. Thank you all.

[Godsdaughter3]

I am a 51 year old man. I am in love wiht a young lady in the church I attend , she tells me she is in love with me also. My marriage has been over for years, but I never filed for divorce, but after my youngest son turns 18 I am filing for a divorce. Well the young lady relization this and it will be in three years and she is willing to wait and of course I am. I mena wait in every way. She is 20 . My guestion is there bible forbidding this and I understand as long as we dont commit adultery. The reason for waiting till he turns 18 is cause of the check he gets cause I am disabiled. To help clear any guestions my wife already tells people I am her ex or she has introduced me as her brother. So this ought to tell you that even in her mind the marriage is over.

Thanks \
Daddypaw

My suggestion to you is this what does the bible say about marriage. I would do what the Bible says that is where you are gonna find the answer to doing what is right. God restores marriages reguardless i am not telling to get a divorce because divorce is against God but pray and ask God what he wants you to do in this situation

[lilmartin05]

back in the old days it was ok to marry older, or younger by far you just dont see it much these days, who says its wrong?!

[LERheartJC]

I don't agree with what this man is doing at all and yes I see and understand that what he is doing is sin. But the way that some of you have responded to him is not the way Jesus would have responded!!! All sin is the same to God and everyone one of us sin everyday!! Instead of responding so harshly maybe you should have responded with love in giving him scriptures to read!!! Here are some verses for all of you to read....

John 8:7
Jesus said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

Mark 12:31
The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.

I pray for all of you that you will be able to continue to give advice to fellow brothers and sisters in such a manner that would be glorifying to God!
Blessings to all

I'm glad someone spoke up! If you hadn't, I would have!!

[godspea]

In all honesty, you probably won't like what I am about to say, but the Bible says in Matthew 5:32, and Luke 16:18 that a man is not to divorce his wife unless one of the two that are married commits adultery,and he does then he causes her to commit adultery, and whoever she marries committs adultery, as well as he and whoever he marries commits adultery.

I have never seen anything about age, but I have seen in Matthew 5:27-28 that you are not to commit adultery and when you look at another woman in lust, you have already committed adultery. In 1 Peter 3:7 it tells you how God has instructed you to be with your wife and how to treat her.

With prayer, fasting, forgiveness, and patience you both could have an awesome marriage, and testimony for others that God would send to you for you two to witness and testify to, to maybe save their marriage. A marriage takes two committed hearts, and for both of them to love God and their committment with (and to) Him, more than they love theirselves.

Marriage is not easy, and the Satan will make sure that it stays that way, and he's making it harder everyday. I don't know you or your wife, but I do know that you two being married, but separated is not in God's will or way. He is faithful to forgive those who believe in Him and trust him, and have a will to do His will.

[Dadof5]

I was married at 20. My advice to teens is wait till 25 at minimum. I teach a sunday school class of 11 and 12th grade. We talk much about the next three main paths their lives will wander. Education, Career, Spouse. I tell them you can change the Edu and Career as many times as you like, but once you commit in Christian marriage, you're there for the life of your spouse. As one matures, the age difference really becomes immaterial. But maturity really only comes through time and life experiences. So...you may be mature at 16 for teenagers, but a 20 yr old and 51 yr.....No girl should go into marriage with someone her dad's age nor should any boy marry a girl b/c she pampers him like his mother did.

[Ron22]

as a 21 yr old guy, i read this thread and i just think it's plain ol wrong for a 51 yr old man to be intrested in a 20 year old girl, i think it's sick, but to make it worse, he's still married, i believe he has NO right to be even thinking of ANY other girls, let alone one that is 31 years younger, but this is just my opion, wish i could spell that word..lol

[jenbevmit]

to your concern would be worried about the age difference, i'd be thinking about what the Bible says about marriage and adultry...I know in 1 corinthians it talks of marriage and living wifes...you must only have 1 living wife and your divorce is only accepted if your wife has past or she's a beater...you can find all this in 1 cor 7:1-40

[Zarxs]

The heart doesn't know age.

He never said he had lustful thoughts about her.

Name a single person besides Jesus that hasn't at one time or another been guilty of a sinful thought?

Who was it that said it's better to marry than to burn?

Then man is trying to do the right thing here.

He came here for good advice. This is not the way to treat brothers in Christ when they are expiriancing a moment of weakness...

[Zarxs]

Historicly true. People have been marrying with vast age differences for more than 2000 years. A fact quite often forgotten about by the last couple of generations that don't study history. It was common during Biblical times, it was common during the middle ages. It was common even 100 years ago. Some people are just too trendy... :) Just because something is not acceptable in society now doesn't make it morally wrong. An unwise choice maybe.... but not morally or Biblically wrong.

[sunnie]

There are lots of reasons a man of 51 should not consider a young woman of only 20.

One: she is most likely going to want to have children. Are you willing to start over, especially with a disability? Small children are hard enough when you are young and healthy, but you add age and health issues, you maybe get something you were not bargaining for. And the children will require it of you whether you are able or not. So, it wouldn't be fair to them either.

Two: If you are not divorced, are you still living with your wife? Has she moved on or committed adulterey? You have to be very careful with this issue. The bible is specific about divorce and marriage in this area.

Also, your son that is not yet 18 is able to draw a check from your disability whether you are married to your wife or not. So that is really a non issue.

I do hope this is helpful to some who are to permissive and to some who are to judgemental....lol We all fall into these catagories once in a while.

Sunnie

[WaterPoloIsMyLife(Beth)]

*official spell checker of the room* opinion :) and I agree with ron...and it would be like me marrying my dad...I really think not many 20 year old girls would want to marry a 51 year old guy unless she was struggling to make ends meet or idk...somethin's up. Or should I say down?