can someone please help me

[forhsglory]

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My husband and I are christians but we argue 24 7. I try to do everything I can to make his life easier but It seems like thats not good enough. We have talked about divorce but I dont want to go that route. The thing that bothers me the most is everything that comes out of his mouth is negative. Its always how someone is acting its "wrong" cause its not his way or stupid this or stupid that and way to strict on our 4year old son I just dont know what to do now. I have prayed and prayed that the Lord will fix this and it lasts about a week and back to square one. Does anyone have any advice? please help me :-(

[larry]

My dear sister in Christ, I know it is rough when only one seems to be pulling the load, and receiving blame when they are doing their best. I’m going to surmise many things in this answer, so please do not think I am automatically assuming anything, or placing blame.

Having married a Christian man, you took God’s advice by marrying equally yoked with a believer. Next I want you to think to the amount of time you and your husband spend studying the word, and discussing the things of God together; are you equally yoked in your growth in the Lord?

Do you attend church services together, pray together, play together, and just devote your undivided attention to one another’s needs? You have been made one with your husband, and if he, or you are one part short of fully meeting the desires of the other, there will be a schism. It may be as simple as I do not want to go to this or that, and they either do not go, or go alone. Please know that what is important to your husband may be boring to you, and vice versa, but you become one for each other.

For you husband to be angry all the time, there has to be a problem. Maybe it is his job putting too much stress on him, possibly the normal hardships of being responsible for you and the children; things mount in a hurry. There could be physical problems unrevealed to you yet, and he just tries to deal with them, and cannot. You may know this already, but I ask you to please review 1 Corinthians chapter 7:1-16 thoroughly, and especially Ephesians 5:21-33. These things would be impossible to the unregenerate person, but you are both Christians, and you can do these things for one another.

You say there are times when you think your husband is too severe in his discipline of your son, but when you say something, that just triggers more of the thought that you’re not the submissive wife you should be to him, or that you’re fighting him. Unless it becomes real abuse that the police should be called, you should learn to trust him that he will not hurt your child. I know how protective a small woman can be against a much larger person when they think their child is in harms way. I hope some of these things may give you insight to the problem, and I will pray for you. Please ask for more help if I can say more, or answer in more detail things you need to understand.

Dear Father, I come to You asking that You show this dear couple what to do in their marriage to make it something that will glorify You. Give them both knowledge and wisdom to know Your perfect will for their lives, and the courage and humility to make the changes necessary to save their marriage. Please encourage them as they take in Your word to guide them, and build their faith as promised when they do that, to overcome the difficulties they face. I praise You Father for doing that for me in my own marriage, and I love and worship You for giving us Your Son. Thank You Father for bringing this dear sister to us, and for allowing us to share in her problems and pray for her. May we all glorify You in the precious name of Your Son Jesus now, and for all ages to come. Amen

May God bless your marriage in the way only He can do in the blessed name of Jesus – larry :)

[hisredeemed]

Perhaps it will help your husband to know that the word submission simply means 'to be under the mission of'. It does not mean subservience.

We are called to be servants, not subservants. We're the righteiousness of God in Christ Jesus.

Getting out of a established loop is a tricky thing because it's what we know. First, stop using the word divorce. Period. It gives a 'way out' and ppl who think they have an option will not give something their all.

Try breaking up your routine. If you're home when your husband gets home try going out for a half hour before he gets there so he can have some breathing room. Make sure he has something to eat. Maybe your local library or somewhere has something for you and your son to do at that time.

Also, you desperately need some joy! Whew, negativity can be greatly draining! If you dont already have them get some kids praise tapes. They do WONDERS for the spirit! I still have my 19 year old son's tapes and I still listen to them!!! You'll be teaching your son joy as well. My son and I used to sing and dance around when these tapes were on and we'd just lose ourselves in God's praise.

Don't react to the negativity. Answering someone or telling them they're wrong just adds fuel to the fire. Whenever he says something negative just let it fall to the floor. You may find you have a lot of silence but in time he'll start to get it. Encourage anything postive he says. If he tells you something good ask him to elaborate.

If things really start getting heated when he's negative take your son and leave the house. No comments-just dress and leave. If you take away the stimulus to the situation it can't contine. If he asks where you're going tell him briefly you and your son need a breather.

Remeber a fight needs two people. Don't be one of them. Someone needs to model the right behavior-let it be you.

Get some godly counsel. Start with yourself and then ask him if he is willing to go. When he sees the change in you, he may very well want to come along. I can't imagine he enjoys being that miserable......

[crossway7]

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My husband and I are christians but we argue 24 7. I try to do everything I can to make his life easier but It seems like thats not good enough. We have talked about divorce but I dont want to go that route. The thing that bothers me the most is everything that comes out of his mouth is negative. Its always how someone is acting its "wrong" cause its not his way or stupid this or stupid that and way to strict on our 4year old son I just dont know what to do now. I have prayed and prayed that the Lord will fix this and it lasts about a week and back to square one. Does anyone have any advice? please help me :-(
Pray for his cross experience, weakness, brokeness, humility, Godly sorrow, repentance and a leader of weakness. I can say this because I was your husband at one time. It was only by the cross God brought victory. It will be the experience of your husbands own cross that your marriage will change. Don not be suprised with how low God may bring your marriage for your husband to be broken. Pride is standing in the way but when the cross comes pride will be destoryed. Read my testimony at www.ultimategolfer.com in outreach.