A special request on Marriage

[cygnis]

My Story

This is not your normal text book marriage. I want to share some of the background so you get a complete picture of what is going on here. I told this story too Ophrah and Doctor Phil and they both didn’t respond. So I hope one of you can open up a door too at least talk about this one.
18; Joined up with Jesus People USA fgm. I Left there when I was 39. Down there I met my wife and had my only Son who is now 15. I have been away from there now for ten years.
I became a part of promise keepers and that was one reason for my leaving. My wife has rheumatoid arthritis. She has had it since she was 28 and it has now put her in a power chair. She is in pain 24/7. She can’t get on medical aid due too the fact of our being in JPUSA and our income level showed a negative zero. I am the sole provider for my family. I do siding contracting.
My background;
I came from an angry abusive wife beater line of fathers. They were all drunks and they beat their kids. I thru faith in Christ overcame that barrio and chose another path for my son and wife. Believe me it wasn’t easy too do. I provided them with a house, a nice town too live in, and a steady income. We did attend a good church in our small town till the pastor went nuts on me. He ended leaving the denomination and now takes medications for his illness. I keep in some contact with him but he chooses too not see anyone anymore.
Now since I left JPUSA it has been a struggle in itself too create a credit line, find a job line that is steady, and earn enough credit too buy a house and fix it up. IN this God has been faithful too me.

Three months ago a large piece of concrete 55lbs hit me on the head from a chimney cap that was improperly installed. Three inches back and I would be in Heaven with my Father and no longer facing these issues. (Sigh). The damage done too I was not so much physical as more cellular. It shocked my brain so the doctors tell me and it changed my personality. I am now at the point when I had control before over my emotions and anger (remember I said earlier I came from that line of fathers)? I now have none. I can swear at the slightest thing that can happen too me. I find that I have absolutely no patience at all or tolerance for anything. My wife even though is in a Power chair wants me too leave for good. She feels the same way I do about divorce. Once married in the eyes of God it is permanent. I gave up relations with my wife a year ago. This accident has changed me. I fear for our future. I am seeking counseling, but now they want too cut me, due too the lack of insurance and payment. I am also in a lawsuit over this (installer) who lay the chimney block that could have killed me.

Present Day;
I sometime wish it had killed that block of concrete. I don’t like what I am now. I know who Christ is, I know who the Holy Spirit is, I know who God the father is and how is the forgiver of all sins thru his son Jesus Christ. I can debate with the best of them if needed be. My relationship with Christ is real, it’s not made up. I am here for a reason. Now if I am here for a reason, I seeking God’s word too find out exactly what that reason is. When I was in Promise Keepers, I taught in JPUSA that salvation is eternal. I was looked down upon my Pastors for teaching that. I know that God chooses his own. I would have been content too call that day my last. But I am still here.
My wife really doesn’t like me any more. I ask her too seek counseling with me and she refuses too go. She will bring up it’s always my fault and rightly so. Now it is my fault because I lost all capacity too care anymore or want too care. My brain injury can last up too two years they tell me.
I am on Topomax a medicine for Migraines it’s a nerve agent.

Ok, Divorce is out, right. There is no sexual infidelity on either side of us. My son he will be gone in four years too college.
Do I tuff it out for those years?
Do I still try and seek a counselor even thou I can’t afford one?
Since me and my wife, never really loved each based on our attractions and we matched due more too our strengths in JPUSA. Is that a basis too starting over?
My wife was a virgin when we married I was too. Do I love my wife now? I pity her, I feel sorry for her. I can’t comfort her anymore. Is that love?
Will I take away my son from her if we separate? NO.
Can I afford all of this and even counseling? NO.
So, My Christian Brethren and Sisters. What can you offer me as a word from our Father?
My real sister, said it’s like a mini JOB. Only instead of taking away my closest friends and family, He took away my control on the past I tried too keep tame and from becoming what my forefathers became before me. The thing my wife fears I might turn into one day if this anger and patience is not brought back under control.
Rune

[larry]

Dear Brother Cygnis, you do have a rough road, and the Lord is not done with you yet. I personally do not believe we inherit our father’s habits, because my parents fought all the time, and I have never thought of hurting my wife, but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed; we do the things we want to do. In the past you chose council from Dr. Phil who would advise a homosexual woman to go live in that lifestyle. You were a part of promise keepers when James 5:12 says “but above all things, my brethren, swear not (promise not), neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.” In other words when you say yes or no, you are to keep your word.

Now that I said all that, let’s see what your word is. I suppose that you like all that take weddings vows agreed to have and to hold, and for better or worse, or something like that till death do you part. Are you doing that, or allowing doctors give you an excuse for your behavior. If you recognize it as wrong, you’re responsible for it. Quit blame-shifting your actions to your accident, or your wife.

As to your being husband and wife, are you doing God’s will living apart as you are. Do not tell me that you cannot get along, with God all things are possible. He has made you one, and expects you to act like it. Read these following verses please, and I am just including the ones directed mainly to the husband for your benefit.

Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Now dear brother, your wife was a gift to you by God Himself, and He expects you to do everything for her, even to the giving of your life for her. How Christ gave Himself for us, is how we are to treat our wives. If you know it is wrong to curse her, just don’t do that. Learn to measure every word that proceeds from your mouth. Instead ask her forgiveness, tell her how much you care for her, ask how you can help her in all things, and especially tell her how you love her day and night until you know and believe it for yourself.

Ephesians 5:28 “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” If you are not to this point in your grown in Christ, you need to be.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Well there is so much more in relationships that could be brought forth, but I find that most problems result from a lack of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Are you really searching the scriptures for the faith you need to believe for the answers you find in them? The thing that so easily besets us in our walk is our lack of faith. After faith prayer is available to you, but you must have faith to believe that you can go to God for help.

Dear Father, help this dear brother to know Your will for his life, and give him the knowledge, and wisdom to know what to do. Your word gives us everything we need, so please direct him through Your Holy Spirit to see the things you have for him, and make him a blessing to his wife again. Help him to glorify You in his walk with You in the blessed name of Jesus our Lord. Amen.

May God bless you Cygnis in your search for His help with your marriage in Jesus’ name – larry :)

[cygnis]

In the past you chose council from Dr. Phil who would advise a homosexual woman to go live in that lifestyle. You were a part of promise keepers

Doctor Phil didn't respond back, neither did his wife. Promise Keepers is a group that was started by the Dallas cowboys coach and they teach One man too be faithfull too his duties of a one women marriage.

Now that I said all that, let’s see what your word is.
I beleive that Marriage vows are meant too be. I think my wife is altho saved is fed up with me. She sees what my parents became, she shes what I am turning into.
The accident is real. The Phycologist who is giving me the meds is trying to tone down my mood swings. The lawsuit is real. What the accident did is trigger repressed emotions that I had under control before.

As to your being husband and wife, are you doing God’s will living apart as you are. Do not tell me that you cannot get along, with God all things are possible. He has made you one, and expects you to act like it. Read these following verses please, and I am just including the ones directed mainly to the husband for your benefit.

I know these verses by heart. As far as husband goes, I provide her with the fincial support, and the pyhiscal. Being the fact that she has the Chronic Disease of Arthiritis. She refuses too let me support her emotionally.

I appreicate your prayers. I am seeking a counselour now, I have an appointment in two weeks.
Its just so hard, I guess if this is my valley then I need courage too walk in it.
any other input is greatly apprecaited.
Im Bill btw.