In need of Advice!

[living2learn]

Recently I found on my husband's computer an email that he read to me from an "old friend". She is getting a divorce and "out of the blue" emails my husband (beacuse he claims they haven't spoken for quite some time) to let him know of the situation. This isn't the first time she has emailed him that I have felt uncomfortable with the context. The problem is: When my husband read me the email he forgot to mention that she told him I MISS YOU!! Yes in big bold letters..To me that leaves my mind wide open to suspicion and untrust. When he originally told me she was getting a divorce and had contacted him via the email I immediately told him that I felt very uncomfortable with him talking to her and I didn't want him in the middle of it. Old friends or not. My trust feels very violated because of those 3 little words he forgot to mention. I feel that there is more than meets the eye! She has contacted him via email one time after this (that I also found on his computer) that simply asked "Are you there?" His simple, yet still leaving the door open for communication was "I'm here". He says that she never contacted him after that but I can't shake the feeling of doubt.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing? I am in dire need of some christian advice to help me through this.
Living2Learn

[godslove]

it sounds to me like he's probably is innocent (for now), but you might want him to read these verses to show him what can happen..God bless

Pr 7:7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
8 Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house,
9 In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:
10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)
13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:
20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.
21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.

22 He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
23 Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.

24 ¶ Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.
26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.
27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

[larry]

Dear Living2Learn, please forgive me for being blunt. I do believe your husband is innocent to this point because he let you know of the email, and read it to you. I believe he was more embarressed than anything else to read "I MISS YOU" because he may still have feelings of friendship, and thinks he can help her in her problem.

If I were you, I would write her yourself using her return email address, and warn her to no longer write, or contact your husband. Tell her to seek the advice of a real counselor. Make sure that your husband is aware of this, and then change your email address which is simple, and even change your telephone number if that becomes a problem.

This is your life we're talking about, and I guarantee you that she is up to no good, and I hope you have a husband wise enough to recognize that too. May God bless you with the wisdom in the blessed name of Jesus, to cut this off before it becomes worse. - larry

[loonylouise88]

hi, i have just read about your problem, i have got to say i think there is nothing wrong with this woman, the fact your husband has been honest with u and read the email shows he has nothing to hide, ok so he didnt read the i miss you. It is very possible that this woman misses him in an innocent way, she misses having a good friend, someone to confide in etc. This is a time when she feels particularly alone and messed up and i dont think you should stop your husband from talking to her. I think she might need a kind ear at this time. In the other email u talked about ur husband wasnt leading in any way he send a simple im here. I believe he is innocent and that you should try to help him to help this woman, you could try bringing the situation to god 2gether in joint prayer.

louise

[hisredeemed]

I think you have a right to be suspicious.

Does he know you are aware of his omitting those words? If not, tell him!

Keep checking and keep telling him you know he's being untruthful and why you are worried. Keep the line of communication open.

In the meantime, there is a reason why he's going outside the marriage. Ask him to go to counseling with you. That may be all he needs to see you're serious and afraid. Or he take you up on the offer and will help you both improve the marriage.

[krista]

hi there.

Do you trust your husband?

I think you need to ask yourself this question seriously - if you say yes why are you going through his computer and finding these emails? That doesn't really indicate that you trust him.

Whats done is done, but I would suggest you talk to your husband about your concerns - tell him you don't feel comfortable and ask him why he didn't tell you about the "i miss you".

Maybe this woman needs support because she is in a bad spot in her life at the moment...your husband may be someone she respects and admires...

Maybe you could suggest meeting her - you never know what will happen - you main gain a wonderful friend.

Also, maybe you need to look at your own self-esteem and self worth - your husband married you! He loves you! Know that in your heart and believe it! remember where doubt and mistrust come from.

Hope everything goes well - and the two of you can laugh about it in the near future!

[living2learn]

Thank you all so much for the interest and advice of my issue. I appreciate good advice and constructive critisism. It's nice to know so many people that love God care!!
Living2Learn