indecisive and in need of biblical advice

[annieP326]

I'm 27, in a relationship with the father of my daughter (3yrs) and expecting another next month. We are not married and have lived together off and on. As of now, I am back living with my parents until baby is born and I am struggling with the decision of whether or not I should move back with my boyfriend. (who lives 4 hrs away)
My heart has felt unsettled for a long time because I knew that my situation was not pleasing to God and I felt guilty of the path I was going down, living together sinfully and having not only one, but now two children out of wedlock. Not to mention the pain and disappointment I've put my parents through. But, since I moved back home with my parents, I started going to church more on a regular basis and I really feel like God is speaking to me. Maybe it's because of the circumstances going on in my life, but I've never felt more close to God and the feeling of really wanting him in my life as I do now.
I want so much to move forward with Carey (bf), get married, and have our family live happily all together. What I am stuggling with is I am unsure we are on the same page spiritually. I have talked with him about God and how I feel. He says he would like God in his life and would attend church with me, which I believe he would. He tells me he wants to move forward with me in that sense, but I'm afraid he would only be doing that because he knows that's what I want. I am not sure God has really spoken to him yet. A few years ago, he was the one on fire for God, but it slowly disapated and he hasn't made any efforts since to attend a church or express to me first that he really wants God in his life.
I realize I need to pray about this, which I have not yet started. I also realize I need to make this decision soon because it's not only my life that is being affected by this uncertainty.
Any advice out there?? :-(

[Shabatowski]

Does it matter what the reason is, that he would seek God and attend church? I think that yes, you need to pray about this so very much! But also think that if you have someone who wants to seek God, wants to be with you, and father your children, then what are you waiting for!?!?!? I do realize that there may be many more factors, but from what you have stated...it doesn't make sense to not be with him, get married...live for God! just my thoughts! my prayers are with you indeed!
Blessings!

[annieP326]

Thanks for your response and for your prayers. I'm just afraid that because he does want to be with me, he is simply saying these things to please me. I'm not sure he is really wanting to seek god right now, because he has expressed to me that he "isn't ready" . He has said he would attend church with me and I think that's a great start and I'm hoping God will really touch his heart and make him realize the importance of living by the word, but what if that doesn't happen and then I'm stuck in an unequally yoked marriage? at the same time, I don't want to feel like I'm forcing these things on him, I know God only has the power to heal his heart..it's just a question of should I be moving forward with him at this point being that he is technically unsaved?

[hisredeemed]

You're first and foremost concern next to your relationship with Jesus is the spiritual training of your children. Someone has to do it. If not their father, you! God takes the training up of children VERY seriously.

You can't force someone to go to church or be happy with their going just to make you happy or to be a family. He can still do the right thing apart from you: i.e pay child support and visitiation.

If he wants to court you, fine, but the fornication needs to stop yestarday! It is a sin period. You will not be blessed and neither will your children if the two of you carry on like that.

How do I know? I had a child at 16 and then again at 18. I wasn't saved until they were 6 and 8 and let me tell you the damage done to them b/c of an ungodly lifestyle.

No matter your age you are not a child any longer but a mother who stands before God for their training. Jesus first then them.

You haven't started praying yet? What are you waiting for??

Stay where you and stop the sinful living arrangement with Carey. Get your life on track and if he's serious he'll follow Jesus again in God's way and time, not yours or his.

It's not about just you and him anymore-it's about innocent children who deserve Jesus untainted.

[Tom]

“I am struggling with the decision of whether or not I should move back with my boyfriend. (who lives 4 hrs away)”

Stop struggling with this question. The answer is no.

“I'm afraid he would only be doing that (go to church) because he knows that's what I want”

That’s not a bad starting reason.

“what if that doesn't happen (God touch his heart) and then I'm stuck in an unequally yoked marriage?”

You’ve already made him the father of your children. He’s trying to do things and say things to please you. He’s willing to go to church with you. You may be right about the “unequally yoked” thing. But let’s be honest, Annie, it’s a little late for you to be quite so discriminating about the man you’re going to be yoked with.

"Any advice out there??"

Shabatowski and Hisredeemed are both right (above).

Make plans to marry this man, the father of your children. You may not be exactly “on the same page spiritually” but, that will grow with time and effort. In the mean time, stay where you are. Stop the fornication. Court (date) him.