Divorce advice needed

[John 14:13]

After 33 years of marriage, my husband left me a note stateing that he was done with the marriage -- wanted a divorce and for me to move out. Realizing that I can't afford the house, I found a nice apartment and moved. During this time, I also learned that he was having an affair (his 3rd) with a girl that is almost 30 years younger.
We have a 13 year old son who wished to have shared parenting - every other week. All three of us agreed, but during the first few weeks, my son found is easy to go back and forth almost every day. Then when the affair became more apparent, my son became more and more distant. I have barely seen him in three weeks, I have insisted that we start the every other week -- but he now says that he has changed his mind and only wants to visit a few hours 2 days a week. He seems so angry at me. Why am I being treated this way. I feel that my husband is buying him things and is saying nasty things about me to my son so he will turn away from me. My son seems to accept the affair as "so what -- it's dad's decision" She's cool.
I am so hurt and miss my son -- what can I do to encourage him to visit more and give the every other week a chance.
I don't want to lose my son -- but I feel that my husband is not helping the situation -- uses the affair to push in my face every chance he gets.

[godslove]

i hope this helps,...God bless.
Php 1:27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;
28 And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.
29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;

[Bouncinstar]

Hiya hun. First, God Bless You. I know your heart has to be aching. I don't think there are enough words to express the sadness I feel for you. I do know that when people we love break our hearts God will mend the wound. I am living proof. He will also take care of your son hun.. and my daughter is living proof of Gods awesum faithfulness to his children. I want to pray with you. First that God would begin a healing in you that He would give you peace that passes all understanding... that God protects your boy and open his eyes to the truth before him and stir a fire within him to seek out a life with Christ... that God will convict your husband of his sin and lead him to a path that serves His purpose. Do not be weary friend, Turn your eyes upon Jesus and accept His haven of rest, while He heals your family. In Christ, Lisa

[John 14:13]

My married daughter seems to be accepting this affair as well. I wonder why she is willing when the other women is still living with her husband. How can my daughter not want to stand and tell her father that he is still married and having an affair with a married woman - that she doesn't condone it. I feel somehow left out of the usual grandchildren's birthday parties, etc. My daughter planned a bowling party for the grandchild - inviting her father, but I was only invited to have supper earlier this week. My husband has never gone bowling with the family - it has always been me since I love bowling. Am I taking this wrong - or is she doing this to hurt also? I very confused and want to act the way God wills.

[Bouncinstar]

Are all of your children now in acceptance of their father's new relationship?

[John 14:13]

No, My 21 year old son if not in favor of this affair. He was used as a shield during the last affair when he was 16. My partner would take him with hiim, drop him off at a cousins and then go with the other woman. When my son found out -- he turned away from his father. Their relationship has been strained ever since. He is a source of strength for my right now. That's why I question what I can do with the other two children who seem to accept what is going on. All the children seem to get along - but I know that my daughter sometimes has bad feeling toward my 21 year old. He is the only child that has had a relationship go bad and understands how a heart can be broken. My daughter, fortunately for her, had dated only her husband and has never felt the hurt of rejection. My 13 year old is still too young to have experienced this kind of hurt as well. I don't like the strained feeling I sometimes get when I am with my daughter -- she has stopped asking me to help babysit with the grandchildren -- instead she asks her dad. I know that my partner has said many unkind things about me to her and even though she says she doesn't take sides -- how can she ask the other woman to attend family things and accept the affair as if nothing is being done wrong?

[Bouncinstar]

This isn't the first affair.. I'm so sorry. I wish I had some answers for you. Maybe your children are uncomfortable around you because you are hurting and they don't know what to do. I would stop wondering and over thinking the situation .. Turn your eyes to Jesus.. You should find a good church If you haven't one and submerse yourself into that environment. Let go and Let God is all you can do hun. I will continue to pray for you. May you feel The Lords Peace and Power now and forevermore. Lisa

[John 14:13]

I tried talking to my daughter thru a letter this weekend. She replied today. She went to her dad and talked to him about the letter I wrote her and he told her that some of the things I said were lies. He twisted some of the circumstances to bring more blame on me. I know I didn't do everything right in the marriage, but my daughter is now saying that she doesn't blame dad for having this affair -- even though the other women is still living with her husband and we are not divorced as yet, My daughter also made it sound that if I want to do special things with the grandchildren -- I will have to accept the other woman and her daughter as well. Why can't I still be grandma and not have to include the other woman in my life? Why must I be expected to accept the other woman when it time to celebrate birthdays, or going trick or treating? She says it's my fault that my 13 yr old son doesn't want to visit - that I put him in the middle, but he is still bringing messages from my partner because he won't talk to me. I truly don't want to lose my children - but I feel that they have already chosen sides even though they say they will not. Any advice???

[crossway7]

After 33 years of marriage, my husband left me a note stateing that he was done with the marriage -- wanted a divorce and for me to move out. Realizing that I can't afford the house, I found a nice apartment and moved. During this time, I also learned that he was having an affair (his 3rd) with a girl that is almost 30 years younger.
We have a 13 year old son who wished to have shared parenting - every other week. All three of us agreed, but during the first few weeks, my son found is easy to go back and forth almost every day. Then when the affair became more apparent, my son became more and more distant. I have barely seen him in three weeks, I have insisted that we start the every other week -- but he now says that he has changed his mind and only wants to visit a few hours 2 days a week. He seems so angry at me. Why am I being treated this way. I feel that my husband is buying him things and is saying nasty things about me to my son so he will turn away from me. My son seems to accept the affair as "so what -- it's dad's decision" She's cool.
I am so hurt and miss my son -- what can I do to encourage him to visit more and give the every other week a chance.
I don't want to lose my son -- but I feel that my husband is not helping the situation -- uses the affair to push in my face every chance he gets.
I am a husband with two boys and a wife of 13 years we too have had difficulities. What you need it God to show up and from experience I can tell you how to expose all darkness and change your situation. The one thing darkness fears and has no victory over is the cross. We are told to pick up our own cross and follow christ. I can assure you for the last three years I have learned much wisdom of the cross and have experienced the cross, its shame, pain, death to what is not of Christ and it's resurrection. If you want to experience God's power it is the cross. To the world the cross is foolishness. Pray for the cross to manifest in your family, weakness, brokeness, Godly sorrow. When God exposes sin or darkness nail it to the cross receive your healing and declare victory over your spiritual battles. It is only by your own cross you will have victory. But do not focus on your husband God will change you first. It is when you experience the cross others will change because of your testimony. It is the cross you are called to experience ask God to show you the cross!!!