Continuous Infidelity

[heidikins]

Hello everyone,

I have been married 5 years and we dated for almost 4 years prior to that. My husband has had several counts of emotional and physical infidelity. I was never emotionally strong enough to leave. Now I am although I still love him and only NOW is he telling me he wants to change. He has told me this before but I knew it was only temporary because we would never get to the root of the problem. If I pushed the issues he would threaten divorce. Well, like I said, now I feel strong enough to leave because of a recent incident I felt he would never change. I prayed for years for a miracle. Well now he says how sorry he is and now he wants to change and he has prayed to God and read his bible and he does not want to lose me. He says he is a changed man. I love him and part of me wants to stay but the bigger part is afraid that 3 to 6 mos down the road I'll be in the same boat. He has agreed to counseling but does not feel he has a problem, but is willing to go if it will help. I believe God can change people if they are willing to change. How can I tell if this is temporary?? I don't feel exactly the same as I used to because I've been through so much and it took a lot to say I wanted a divorce. I know God did not want me to go through all the suffering that I did, but is this now my miracle? Can someone really change just like that...overnight? Please advise... Thank you!

[hisredeemed]

Find Christian couples counseling. Only time will tell if the change is for real.

If he is willing to go to counseling then I would say he is for real. He really wants to get to the root of his repeated infidelity. If he balks then chances are he is not serious enough to do whatever it takes to keep you.

If the change is for real then God can reignite the feelings you once had for him. Infidelity puts a pretty good beaten on a woman's soul. I know, I've been there.

The only way to heal this marriage is through sound, godly counsel for both of you together and separately. Also you both need to pray together everyday. Spiritual intimacy does WONDERS for all other intimacy.

God can do anything with a life that is yielded to Him. Don't do anything until you have prayed and fasted before the Lord for direction. Remember fasting does not move the hand of God; it puts you in the right place to hear from Him. The Holy Spirit will give you the right counsel.

[godslove]

i have prayed for you to have wisdom in this matter and for your husband to have a real change this time, as far as advice it's really hard to say, did he get saved and is now changed? if he did not get saved then there is no chance of a change in him. he may behave himself in the future but you just never know. ...God bless.

[Tom]

“I have been married 5 years” “My husband has had several counts of emotional and physical infidelity”

You have a lot of tolerance.

“How can I tell if this is temporary??”

You can’t.

“afraid that 3 to 6 mos down the road I'll be in the same boat”

You may very well be in the same boat, Heidikins. But, you’ve given him “several” passes on infidelity up to now. Now he says “how sorry he is” and how “he wants to change” and “he has prayed to God and read his bible” and “he has agreed to counseling” and “he does not want to lose” you and “he is a changed man.” Is it possible he has finally confessed and repented? If so, give him one more chance to make amends. You’ve been putting-up with his stuff for five years. Five more months to see if this is a God inspired “change” sounds reasonable, to me.

[heidikins]

Update:

I want to thank you for your responses. Things have been going well. He has seeked out a church for us to attend and we have. We are going to counseling and have bought a couple of christian books together that we are reading. Time will tell!! Thank you again.