marriage help needed

[hopeful]

I have been married for 2 and a half years. My husband and I are very different. I am a physician and he is still working on his undergraduate degree. We are both very spiritual but since our marriage we only bring out the worst in each other. We have done so much to spiritually hurt each other and I really do not know where to begin.

Three things are really concerning. We were only married for a couple of months when my husband met a woman at work. He began to e-mail this woman and I thought the conversations were inappropriate. He called her "dear" and she was writing about how she we going away for the weekend. My husband mentioned in the e-mail that he wished he could also go. When I became aware of these e-mails I was horrified. I confronted him and he said sorry. He also changed his email password.

About a year passed, and my husband and I joined a church. My husband was in training to be a minister. At this particular church women are also allowed to be ministers. My husband became very friendly with one of the female ministers. I repeatedly told him that I thought the relationship was inappropriate for two church ministers. To make a long story short, I later found out that my husband was driving this lady home from church at night (alone) and he never told me. I found out and confronted him, the lady, and the church. Everyone said sorry. I forgave my husband and we changed churches.

Recently, I was on the internet and I discovered that my husband was sending one of his ex-girlfriends birthday e-mail cards. Once again he said sorry. Do you think I am making a big deal out of litttle issues?

[godslove]

no i don't think you are being unreasonable, many men and even pastors have fallen like this. even when they were not on the prowl. all in the name of symphathy. he is going to have to realize he has 2 choices, one is to serve God and the other one is not to serve God. he will have to be like joseph who would not allow any woman get close to him that was not his wife. tell him to make his choice. if he choses to serve God then he can restore his vow to God and you when he married you. i have prayed for you and your husband, God bless

[Tom]

“my husband met a woman at work. He began to e-mail this woman and I thought the conversations were inappropriate. He called her "dear." “he said sorry”

“My husband became very friendly with one of the female ministers” “my husband was driving this lady home” “Everyone said sorry”

“I discovered that my husband was sending one of his ex-girlfriends birthday e-mail cards. Once again he said sorry”


(I think he’s not sorry)

I don’t think you’re making too big a deal of this, Hopeful. Your husband has the responsibility to avoid temptation, and be repentant when he fails. It doesn’t sound like he’s doing either. I know that, if I did any one of the things you describe, I’d be pulling my wife’s shoe out of my hip pocket.

[Bouncinstar]

Hopeful, I know how hard a situation like this can be.. gut wrenching even. Have you ever encountered a situation.. that once you were out of it, you could see all that much clearer and you just couldn't believe how blind you were? I have done that myself. We block out things to help ourselves get by.. to maintain. When what we really need to do is take a good hard look at the situation..
I encourage you to do just that.. you already have the answer. Your husband seems to get into alot of these tight little situations.. repeatedly. Big Siren.. It wasn't just once or twice. He is on the prowl.
I will be praying for you both.. I will ask God to make your path clear and to guide you in your decisions. My heart goes out to you x Lisa

[kellymarie]

Hopeful,you are not making too big a deal of this.I do not have an answer,but I will say that since he started e-mailing other women a few months into the marriage,well....I think you know what this marriage will be like.Some men will not stop this kind of thing.But there are women who do this too.This is because they have an emptiness in their life and are looking for a way to fill it.The women probably give him an ego-stroke.This is not about you dear.You did not cause this to happen.Please don't think that if you had done this or that better he wouldn't do it.What matters is your relationship with the Lord.You have to put it first,trust that He will take care of you no matter what.It is hard to trust like we should,but it is worth it.Work on your relationship with Jesus and lean on Him.Jesus gives us what no human can.We all mess up,but He will see you through this.He will take care of whatever the issue is with your husband.Lift your husband up to the Lord,because he needs Jesus.I pray for you and hope it gets better,whether or not if you stay with your husband.