What should I do?

[Patience2009]

Hi all, I am new here. Married for 3 years and have an almost one year old boy.
I think I really need some counsel as I felt really tired. My husband has a temper problem. Overall he is good except for that. Just last evening, he was very angry because I reach home slightly late as I went to buy bread for next day breakfast.
Usually he will pick up our son from nursery and send him home before going for night classes. Thus, when I was late, there isnt anyone to look after my boy and he cant just go for class.
On my part, I must admit that i estimated the time wrongly. He message me via my mobile asking me why I do that to him. What did I do? It wasnt on purpose and I thought I have enough time to get bread for breakfast so that he will not be hungry the next morning and can save money not to buy breakfast.
I cant help but kept crying over it. On his point, he thinks that I dont understand him but who will come and understand me? :cf

[Minelisse]

I think you should try and talk to him when things have calmed down. Maybe he was just having a bad day and that topped it off or there is something bigger behind the being late. He might feel you dont support him or his efforts as night classes. The truth is you need to sit down with him with an opened mind and heart, not looking to defend yourself as you admit you should have been there earlier, but to understand where he is comming from. Ask God for the wisdom to hear what he says and understand it without turning it into a bigger argument. If you trully want to deal with whats going on, youll probably have to hear and accept some critisism. Hope it helps. God bless!

[larry]

Dear Patience2009, normally when one is intolerant of another to the extent he seems to be, there is a problem with him. He may be having those problems at work thrown at him, and using you to vent his anger at others. For a while, it may help to ask his permission to go, or do anything until he realizes how immature he sounds. Many men do not realize how great a job their wives perform in keeping the daily ritual off them, until they have to make the 1000 decisions the wife has dutifully been doing. For instance, is it alright to go get bread for tomorrows meal, how much time can I have? If you take a minute more than estimated, immediately get on phone and appoligise in a gracious manner; maybe common sense will start clicking in him.

He may be suffering medical problems he can't deal with, or he may be just reverting to being a kid again, and throwing tantrums; my wife tells me I never grew up. There's still a twelve year old held prisoner within me.

Then there is the possibility of needing anger management classes I'm just sure he would like to attend. Some men wait until they're beyond help, and start striking out at their wives, and then the courts order such corrective measures; I hope it need not come to that, but do not allow it to either.

You do not say that you are Christians; are you both attending church? If not, that is a priority, or at least be studying and reading the bible together. If the role of spiritual leadership has been given to you, you go with God and pray much for him.

Please read many of the responses on this marriage board of others that have problems. May God bless you Patience in your search for help, and remember that if you are a Christian, the door to God's throne is always open to you to ask for His grace and help in your time of need in Jesus' name - larry