Single, lonely, and despondent

[WarmFuzzy]

Hello:

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice or insight.

I'm 37 and my boyfriend of one year broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. It was a total shock and I still don't understand what I could have possibly done that he felt he had to permanently end our relationship. For the record, I have no way of contacting him. That said, I'm deeply hurt and confused about this whole situation. We had a good relationship and went to church together and prayed together all the time. I've prayed for God's will for this relationship since the I first met him and I don't know why God would wait until 1 year later to decide that this relationship must end. I feel as though God doesn't answer my prayers. Just about everything I have prayed for has never been answered. I know that sometimes God says no or that He doesn't answer them in the way we hope, but could He possibly say no to all my prayers requests??? I don't get it. I don't understand. I want to get married and have a family, but I"m getting old. I don't know what else to do to meet people. I've tried EVERYTHING and I've failed at all of them. Please help.

[Doc Holliday]

I have undergone the same situation, fuzzy. I am about your age. There was a woman that I desperately wanted. I prayed so hard and so long for that woman to marry me. Unfortunately, she refused. I have been hurting over the past couple of weeks about the situation. But before you say God has never answered your prayers, you must ask yourself two things: 1) what did you pray for, and 2) did you say in those prayers that His will be done? No one can know how or why God makes certain decisions, and make no mistake about it: If you are a follower of Christ, He will make a decision in you life that will hurt your feelings. He did it to Abraham. He did it to Lot when He allowed Lot's wife to be turned into a pillar of salt. He did it to Paul. He does these things to us for many reasons, some of which we will never know.
You must ask Him to help you to get over the pain. Then, even though you may fear this, you must ask Him to send you the person He has for you. Ad here comes the hard part: YOU MUST BE PATIENT AND WAIT ON THEM. If this relationship is meant to be, your boyfriend shall return. If not, then you must accept the fact that it was not His will that this relationship go any further. You must also understand that He may have been saving you from an even more severe pain somewhere down the road. It is not a pleasant feeling--believe me, I know---but with His help, you can overcome.

[larry]

My heart really goes out to you and I will pray that the Lord leads you to the right person. I have no idea why the Lord allowed you to go through this, but I do know that my Lord never forsakes us. He is doing a work in us to make our lives abundant in him. The church of Ephesus was judged by the Lord as having left their first love and that was not putting Jesus first in their lives as they did at the first, while the church at Philadelphia was commended for patiently keeping His word and will be rewarded by not having to enter the great temptation that is to come upon all the earth. In other words, put the Lord first in your life above all things and He will provide that which He knows you need.

Now the Lord tells us to not become yoked with unbelievers, and that could even extend to believers not wanting a walk with the Lord that you want. You may never know until you're face to face with Jesus the thing He has kept you from and spared you the grief of something that could have destroyed your life. I know loneliness can be very bitter, but put your trust in our dear savior that He will always do that which is right for your life. There is the old cliché that you're not getting older, but you're getting better, and 37 years is barely starting in life. When and if the Lord wants you to have the mate you think you need, He will provide you a husband that loves you to death for lack of a better expression.

Now the man you say that left you may be having problems with life and afraid to go on with the relationship at this time, and not know what to do about it; men that have kept themselves from marriage this long usually have some fear of it because there are plenty of available women wanting to settle down. You say the Lord does not answer your prayers, and I know you said you realize He sometimes says no. Now I hope the following is helpful. Some of this was Paul's prayer.

2 Cor 12:8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. . . . Paul prayed three times to have the Lord remove the thorn in the flesh given to him. The thorn was probably an ailment of Paul’s eyes according to (Gal 4:14-15). And my trial which was in my flesh you did not despise or reject, but you received me as an angel of God, even as Jesus Christ. What then was the blessing you enjoyed? For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your own eyes and given them to me. Now you may ask, didn’t the Lord say in (Matt 21:22), whatsoever ye ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Again in (John 15:7) Jesus said, If ye abide in me and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what you will and it shall be done unto you. Also in (John 14:13-14), and whatsoever ye ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye ask anything in my name, I will do it. . . . Now, which of you haven’t asked for God’s blessing or favor on your chances of winning the lottery, being able to get financing on that special home or car, getting you out of a mess that you’ve got yourself into, helping your kid make the team, or maybe something really important such as praying for the sports team of your choice to win the contest? In (Phil 1:21), Paul wrote for him to live, Christ, and to die gain. . . . To another to live may be money, job, hobbies, their husband or wife, children and grandchildren, home and yard, football with the Broncos or baseball with the Rockies, alcohol and drugs, parties, singing with the choir, etc. Are you still putting Christ first, or have you left him as your first love? The Lord had this against the church of Ephesus in (Rev 2:4).

Have you really received everything you’ve prayed for in Jesus’ name? Is it possible you have no faith, or that you’re not believing hard enough or praying it through long enough for God to grant your petition? Perhaps, if you fast, that will impress God. Maybe you forgot to end your prayer in Jesus’ name. God forbid that His words fail to abide in you. No brethren, most fail to read the whole story.

James 4:2 Ye lust, and have not, ye kill, and desire to have and cannot obtain; ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

James 4:3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. . . . Would you really give the lottery you win to the poor and the church to be used for the cause of Christ or would a new car, vacation home and designer clothes become yours?

1 John 5:14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything ACCORDING TO HIS WILL, he heareth us.

1 John 5:15 And if we know that he hear us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. . . . In other words, we are praying for something that we know is according to God’s will. For instance, in (James 1:5-7), we are told if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think he shall receive anything of the Lord. . . . Is it possible we have asked God to remove something from our lives that he had willed to be there for our good? The Lord didn’t remove the thorn in Paul’s flesh.

Continue to trust in the Lord believing that He is always doing that which is right for you personally - Love in Jesus' name - Larry

[Rylee]

We all go through trials in our lives, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Don't let this obstacle test your faith; continue to praise Him, thank Him, follow Him, worship Him. Leave your life in His hands and He will do all the rest. Don't lose faith; God will take care of you. He's always there, and He knows how you're feeling. Sometimes people go through things that we can't understand, but God knows all and that's what is important. I will be praying for you.

[REv. Thomas]

[QUOTE=WarmFuzzy]Hello:

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice or insight.

I'm 37 and my boyfriend of one year broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. It was a total shock and I still don't understand what I could have possibly done that he felt he had to permanently end our relationship. For the record, I have no way of contacting him. That said, I'm deeply hurt and confused about this whole situation. We had a good relationship and went to church together and prayed together all the time. I've prayed for God's will for this relationship since the I first met him and I don't know why God would wait until 1 year later to decide that this relationship must end. I feel as though God doesn't answer my prayers. Just about everything I have prayed for has never been answered. I know that sometimes God says no or that He doesn't answer them in the way we hope, but could He possibly say no to all my prayers requests??? I don't get it. I don't understand. I want to get married and have a family, but I"m getting old. I don't know what else to do to meet people. I've tried EVERYTHING and I've failed at all of them. Please help.
[/QUOTE Rev. THomas]
Hi Warm and Fuzzy,
I understand how you must deel. But don't give up on God. Just ask Him what you have doen to wheree he may not answer your prayer's for God will never leave us or sesert us. He is there all the time.
I know for my life has not been a bed of roses either. I have been in prison because I would not listen to God's calling for my life until he broke me down to where I was alone and had nothing or no one. I gave my life to Christ again when I was in Prison and told mhim to use me any way he saw fit. He has and He has made me into a minister for him. I am single and never been married and I am 48 years old. I have no children because I do not believe in premarrital sex.
I believe a man and woman should be married first. I am a Undemoinational Minister but I lean to the pentacoastal Ministry.
I am looking ro a woman who loves the Lord as I do and who is willing to go where ever God leads me to go. And who will be what God intended a woman to be and that is a help meet for man. I am not looking for woman who will wait on me hand and foot. I am looking for a woman whom I can spoil and give her the love that God has given me to give.
Now getting back to you. I feel that God felt that your boyfriend of 1 year
was not the one God wanted you to have even though you went to church together and prayed together their was something that your boyfriend was doing or was not doing and God decided to have the relationship ended before you were married and find out there was something that he was not telling you.
So now Warm and Fuzzy just llok else where for the love of your life as I am doing and I am sure God will open that door.
God Bless You and if you feel like you need to talk to someone you can call me any time Day or Night at 616-233-3280.

God Bless You and Love you,
Love Your Brother In Christ Jesus
Rev. Thomas B. Tribe

[god'schild219]

you are right

[REv. Thomas]

Hey Sweethear,
I told you earlier that I am here to listen if you want to talk. I gave you my phone number also. If you get the answering Machine leave me a message.
I understand your situation but something made God change His mind against you marrying this guy os let God work and you will see amazing thing's. I know for I am a living Testimony of that.
Call or write me at tbt41058@yahoo.com or call me at 616-233-3280 any time. I will respond to you if you call or write me.
Yours In Christ Jesus
Rev. Thomas B. Tribe

[REv. Thomas]

gd'schild219,
I appreciate what you said about me being right. But It was not me who was doing the talking in that situation it was God through me. All that I am is His messenger and I speak what he wants me to speak for him. When he gives me the words to speak.
I love all of God's Children for that is what a pastor or minister is suppose to do. Not go around knocking them down even further than what they are already.
With this God Bless
Yours Truly In Christ Jesus
Rev. Thomas B. Tribe

[Bouncinstar]

Hey WarmFuzzy, I sympathize.. I broke up with my boyfriend Sunday after a two year relationship because I wanted God's Will for our lives. I too am thirty-seven and never married, but I've turned down many offers because I knew that it wasn't God's timing! I always pray that He would lead me and guide me in my dating decisions.. but for some reason, the relationships end up being lessons learned and not The Love Of My Life! I've grown weary of the whole dating ritual LoL and now my prayers will be like this... LORD IF HE ISN'T THE ONE.. PLEASE MAKE ME INVISABLE TO HIM :o) Try to keep your smile on.. more often than not.. when people quit looking and no longer care if they will ever be married, they find themselves walking down the aisle! Focus on your relationship with God hun and let him do the match-making for you.. and I'm going to do the same. God Bless

[anju]

hi,
i know tat ur really hurt but god is faithful his ways r not our ways his thots for us r more than the grains of sand on the seashore.he knows the best for ur life.

[kellymarie]

I have been married for five years,and I still go through dilemmas in marriage.I gone through doubts about the man I married,and caught him in lies.I believe that the one thing God is trying to show us all,married or not,is to trust in Him.Cast all our cares upon Him,as Jesus told us.Well,God wants us to trust in Him for everything.We do believe in Jesus,but do we really trust Him?Do we trust Him,without interfering ,and getting in the way?We can sure do that,and that is currently what I'm learning from God,to let it go and give it to Him-all of it.

[romulo]

Hi , I think you are a very sensitive person, maybe you are asking God what He doesnt want you ask and He is answering what you dont want to hear.Tribulations are part of your live now... but not always, for the time being,perseverance in the faith. Now you are in my heart. Hello:

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice or insight.

I'm 37 and my boyfriend of one year broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. It was a total shock and I still don't understand what I could have possibly done that he felt he had to permanently end our relationship. For the record, I have no way of contacting him. That said, I'm deeply hurt and confused about this whole situation. We had a good relationship and went to church together and prayed together all the time. I've prayed for God's will for this relationship since the I first met him and I don't know why God would wait until 1 year later to decide that this relationship must end. I feel as though God doesn't answer my prayers. Just about everything I have prayed for has never been answered. I know that sometimes God says no or that He doesn't answer them in the way we hope, but could He possibly say no to all my prayers requests??? I don't get it. I don't understand. I want to get married and have a family, but I"m getting old. I don't know what else to do to meet people. I've tried EVERYTHING and I've failed at all of them. Please help.

[girlfriend]

WarmFuzzy, no answer is an answer...I'm much older than you and have found that when we pray for God's will and we hear nothing, that is an answer. I know that doesn't make it any easier. Ever hear that old country song, I thank God for unanswered prayer. Someday...you'll sing that...I promise when God's wisdom is revealed in all of this.

[sudhirlal]

Hi,
God's answer: YES,NO,WAIT and your prayers are in these categories.
Please note "WE CHOOSE BETTER BUT GOD GIVES BEST"
REV.SUDHIR S.N.LAL.
nldsin@yahoo.co.in